Hello Again

Well, that was a surprisingly long break.  I just reread my last newsletter and was struck by how well I summarized my lifestyle and why I chose it.

This newsletter shall serve as an update as well as a topical discussion.

Much of my extra bandwidth lately has been consumed by dealing with an aging father whose health is quite fragile.  He just turned 84, and parts of his body are remarkably healthy, like his cardiovascular system.  But other parts are worn out; he was an amateur endurance athlete - marathons and triathlons.  He used to train through the pain, and now his joints are shot.  And his brain is failing him; there’s some sort of dementia present.  I’ve partaken in a crash course on what dementia is, its possible causes, management, and prognosis.

It is not encouraging.  And it is accelerating.  He is noticeably worse than he was nine months ago.  I recently said to my brother and daughter that how Dad is today will improve slightly over the coming weeks because he’s recovering from a viral lung infection, but that his baseline will become more impaired as time goes on.

This whole slow fading away of someone so closely related has been sobering:  I can’t help but wonder how I’ll age. I am also profoundly aware that I do not want to repeat the behaviors and lifestyle choices Dad made because they likely contributed to his cognitive decline.  To be clear, I do not blame him for his condition, but knowing that his choices have probably contributed to his decline is motivating me to make completely different choices and make some significant changes.

I’ll begin with exercise.  As we age, the saying “if you’re not moving, you’re dying” becomes very important.  My dad was great about moving before dementia began to impact his balance and mobility.  It turns out the type of movement affects the quality of your life as you age.  Long-duration endurance training wears joints out, especially for large-framed people.  Strength training is critical in preserving mobility, muscle, bone density, balance, and hormonal health, and that wasn’t Dad’s thing over the last 20 years.

Additionally, being strong and powerful is directly connected with longevity.  Think of strength as how much you can lift and power as being able to move weight or yourself explosively.  I’ve been a gym rat for a long time; my strength training program works well for me.  However, I’ve neglected power training.  So I’ve changed my workouts to be less focused on pushing around maximum weight, to have more cardio via power walking and stationary cycle to avoid pounding my joints into dust, and include power exercises like box jumps, air squats, and sprints. And the positive correlation between exercise and brain health is well-documented.

Diet is an area I thought I had dialed in pretty well, but my research into its effect on brain health has led me to make further changes.  I’ve been gluten-free for more than 15 years; I’m not celiac, but I am very sensitive to it.  I used to be heavy, had chronic joint pain, leaky gut, and frequent headaches and sinus infections.  All this resolved for me when I eliminated gluten; within six weeks of going gluten-free, I lost 15 pounds and two inches off my waistline.  Since then, my diet has been about 80% real foods, meaning my diet is primarily protein and vegetables; I mostly shop the perimeter of the supermarket and skip the inner aisles full of processed food.  Most of my carbs came from rice (a surprisingly high-glycemic food), and I have a sweet tooth, which I would satisfy with gluten-free cookies and other baked goods.   

My research on dementia has led me to refine my diet even further.  There is a connection between high blood sugar and dementia that science doesn’t yet understand; however, there is a growing opinion that dementia could be referred to as Type 3 Diabetes.  There is also a connection between having a sweet tooth and high blood sugar.  My blood sugar has always run on the high side of normal; given my sweet tooth, which I’m sure I got from my dad, and that my dad’s sister ultimately passed away from Parkinson’s Disease (a form of dementia), I am concerned about what my future brain health could look like.  Therefore, I have gone grain-free (grains are carbs, carbs are sugars) and as close to zero added sugar as I can get, which is surprisingly hard to do - it’s everywhere.  I have also begun supplementing with berberine due to its positive effects on insulin sensitivity.  I’ve scheduled blood work for November, and I’m curious and a little anxious to see how these changes impact my blood sugar levels.

I’ve also taken lifestyle lessons from Dad that are less consequential than exercise and diet but no less important.  He never remarried after my parents divorced.  This resulted in him having plenty of freedom and money, both good; however, I do not think he took full advantage of either.  He didn’t travel much, he didn’t date much, he played it safe.  And he didn’t retire until he was 72 because he was “having fun.”  He only had seven good years of retirement before covid, and his health began to decline.  I take a few lessons from this:  Staying single is a reasonable course of action, taking advantage of my freedom and resources, and knowing when to retire.

I’ve given much thought lately to having fun and prioritizing play and fun.  These thoughts especially came after cleaning out my dad’s condo in preparation for it to go on the market.  I threw out a lot of shit, and none of it made me think Dad had a lot of fun.  I concluded that I can say the same about my mother: she was not fun.  I’ve asked some friends whether their parents were fun, and I’m surprised by how many answered they were not.  I held my breath and asked my daughter whether I was fun, and I was relieved to hear she thought I was.

Fun is subjective, and maybe my parent’s friends would disagree with me.  But after cleaning out Dad’s place and reflecting on the 14 years since my mother passed, I don’t see a fun role model in either one.  I see two lives I do not want to emulate.  Happiness may be elusive - focus on it, and it seems to disappear.  But fun is fun, and we know it when it happens; I want more.

I have also given much thought lately to not being a burden as I get older.  Truthfully, Dad has become one; I now have a second dependent.  His memory is fine, but his cognitive ability is impaired - confusion is a regular state for him.  Eventually, I too may become a burden to my daughter, but if so, it will not be because I did not take steps to prevent becoming so.

My dating life has changed; I’m down to one woman.  I simply do not have the bandwidth at the moment to spin plates, and I enjoy Fitness Chick’s company:  She’s intelligent, attractive, low-key, fun, low-maintenance, and loves sex.  I appreciate her but do not love her and most likely never will; I love the life I’ve created more than I think I will ever love a woman.  And given my travel schedule, opportunities will continue to present themselves; I’m monogam-ish while home but open to possibilities.  The story of getting to here with her is deserving of its own post.

Lastly, I’ve taken the plunge, so to speak, and started a new hobby: powerboating. I joined a boat club, completed all the licensing and training, and am having an absolute ball. It’s actually replaced motorcycles for the moment. I love the challenge of learning a new skill and its attendant technical knowledge. And it’s a very social hobby; I have yet to head out solo; somebody will always make time for a boat ride.

I have more to say, but I will save it for another time.  I appreciate you all coming along for the ride.

Peace, Freedom and Progress